Dear Diary
by FuntomKitten
Summary: When Grell is sent off by William to work for Undertaker, he is immediately given the task to clean up the shop, and finds a book near and dear to Undertaker: His diary. His curiosity grabs hold of him as he reads the pages, but he finds out something he isn't sure the mortician wanted him to know. Undertaker x Grell, rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: First fanfic in quite some time! I had this bunny going through my head for a while before actually sitting down to write it, along with a few other Undertaker/Grell stories. :3 I'm not sure if I'll cut it off as a fluffy oneshot or continue: Tell me if you want me to continue it! And my apologies if any of the dialogue sounds off or weirdly paced, most of this story was written around 2 in the morning.  
Regardless:  
Disclaimer: I do NOT by any means own Black Butler or its characters. That's all lovely miss Yana Toboso's.

===========================================================

"William, you've got to be kidding me!"

William sighed as he heard the redhead whine the same phrase from behind him again, for the fifth time within the span of five minutes. Turning on his heel to purposefully make the redhead run into him, he glared down at him. "I'm not kidding. You're lucky that this is all the punishment I'm giving you, and that all of your work is suspended while you're there. He's waiting on you, now shoo."

Grell whined again, crossing his arms and staring up at him. "But it's no fair! I don't like the Undertaker..at all~ I will not work for him!"

"Yes you will. Shoo before I drag you there by your own hair."

Grell sighed a moment and clung to the raven-haired reaper's arm with a sad pout to try to convince him once more, darting away when Will only raises his other hand to smack him. "Fine, fine! You big bully~! It's on you if I die since he likes corpses better!" Grell smiled at the awkward, embarrassed look on Will's face as he turned to step through a portal through the normal realm. He knew Will and Undertaker went back quite a while, and that Will thought of the elder ex-reaper as a big brother. No doubt Grell was at least going to get some dirt and blackmail him the next time he gets pissed off..

Grell sighed, staring at the Undertaker's door for a long moment as he stood in front of it with his arms crossed, considering bailing and going to see his Bassy instead. While it did seem like a marvelous idea, he knew he was teetering on a death penalty from the higher-ups. No matter how much Grell liked to act up, he wasn't about to die for it. With a defeated and bored sigh, he reached his hand up to knock on the wooden doors in front of him. Knowing he wouldn't get any reply only from knocking, though, he cracked open the door to call inside. "Undertaker? Are you in..? It's Grell."

He heard the telltale too-drawn-out creepy laugh and rolled his eyes, stepping inside. "Cut it out, just tell me what I need to do."

He froze when he looked up to see the Undertaker was there, holding his chin. "Ah, m'dear, you're here! Alright, alright, if you're so eager." He let go of Grell's chin with a smile when Grell glared at him, motioning over to a corner where several messy piles of books laid. "Move those back to the bookshelves down in the basement. I have to go out for a few burials today, so it would be a huge help~"

"Sure." Grell sighed and nodded, glancing at him. "I'll get it done..~ You can go now."

He glanced up, frowning at the Undertaker's serious look. "Look after the shop while I'm gone, won't you?"

"..Sure."

The Undertaker didn't seem pleased with this answer, holding Grell's chin again. "Sutcliff. Look after the shop. I'm not joking, for once. Please take this more seriously."

Grell nodded again, rather off-put by his change in demeanor at such a simple subject, but unsurprised at it still having its intended effect. "...Yes sir, Undertaker..?"

Undertaker nodded again, the silly grin back on his face as he loaded the coffins in the room onto his cart, waving as he leaves. "Alright~ Bye Grell~"

Grell waved meekly, sighing softly and going over, starting in on the long chore. Unsurprisingly, after a couple of trips, he was bored out of his mind and refused to do more work for the time being, sitting down instead to look through the books. Some classic poetry, some oddities, some books that made him seem like a sociopath...and Grell stopped as he came across one book particularly well-kept, its leather cover almost dust free, a bookmark neatly tucked between the pages. In gold lettering on the front, it read only: DIARY.

Even Undertaker kept a diary. Well, Grell thought, I really shouldn't peek...but I do have to wonder what that madman would write about in a diary.. Keeping that thought in mind, he flipped to the bookmarked page, the most recent entry written in a beautiful scrawl that still managed to have a tone of elegance.

Scanning the page, Grell read several lines.

'Dear Diary, November 7th, 1890

William's only just informed me of a new visitor I'll be having daily. Grell Sutcliff. I'm not sure whether I should be annoyed or offended since he's being sent here as punishment..Either I'm really that bad or William has a cruel way of doing his friends favors. Likely both, but no matter. I can hardly contain my excitement. He'll be coming within a couple of days. I'll finally get to call him by name face-to-face, and get to see him every day..no matter to me if he hates me or not. I'll still be happy to see him happy because of whatever happened to him that day. That has always been a difference of his. He always has a smile on his face regardless. And now I've gone and ran out of room blabbering on about him. Wonderful, 'Taker.'

Curious from the Undertaker's odd ramblings, Grell set the book down, finishing up his chore before sitting in the back room to read several more entries, deciding to flip to the first entry instead to read it. He noticed with a grimace, the scrawl here was much less legible.

'Dear Diary, December 10th, 1866

I'm not one to keep diaries. I rarely like to write. However, that therapist Will forced on me is making me do it. "Say what you want in it, what you feel" she says to me. The truth? I hate the idea of doing this. It won't make things better. How the hell does writing help you deal with death? That's a mentality the reapers always had. Write about death enough, and you'll stop caring about it.  
I despise them for it. Nobody stops caring about death. They create a lack of attachment to the people in their list, that's all. But it's easy enough to find someone who will make them fear death. I learned that the hard way.  
I don't fear death. I feel a hatred toward her death, and I would like to meet my own. I bet this will bring up concerns, but I'm writing the truth. I miss her, and..oh fuck this'

Grell blinked several times, a concerned frown crossing his face before flipping between the two entries curiously. Such a big change..But what could have caused it? There was no helping it, Grell had to know now. He flipped through, reading every entry. None of them stuck out to him, and in the beginning, there seemed to be only a couple every year, usually written angrily.

Then one caught his eye.

'Dear Diary, April 24th, 1883

I went back to the Library for the first time since her death. I hadn't expected it to change so much, but it had. Our humble little community grew into quite a bustling little place, it seems. I notice..I feel happy. Not because of the increase in people there..but because of one in particular.  
Everyone was the same, you see. Everyone but one. Among the sea of black and brunette and blonde that I was watching as I searched for William's new office. Then, I just saw a bright flash of red as it darted past me.'

Grell nearly dropped the book. No, he couldn't have been..He couldn't be the reason Undertaker became happy again. That was impossible. He'd done nothing. Fueled by his curiosity, he kept reading.

'I followed the red to William's office. I listened to their conversation as I waited my turn, rather surprised. He was flirtatious. He talked back. He had emotion. He smiled from the moment I first saw him onward.  
I'm not sure of his name, but I'll most certainly ask William. I'm not sure why..but..his smile is contagious. I'm very happy I saw him..even if I never met him. I'll learn more, though. I'll smile more, to try to give the effect his beautiful smile had on me to others. I swear. That's my new goal for life. 'Taker'

Grell shut the diary, holding his hand over his mouth. Impossible..he..he'd saved Undertaker? He'd made him smile again..He'd never even noticed him. He felt guilty, but happy. Then crushingly curious. Did Undertaker just admire him, or have a crush on him? He found part of himself hoping it was the latter, though he wasn't sure why. He'd figure that out before long though..he muttered the thought to himself as he continued to flip through the pages, watching as the mood improved the further he went as he learned more. His name, his face, his personality, his voice, his beauty, his everything, all of it, was described happily in this detail. And in the December of 1883, after a huge record of pages per year (nearly a hundred compared to the previous five), Grell found the line he was looking for, but wasn't sure if he would find.

'I think I've fallen in love with Grell Sutcliff.'

============================================================================

There you go! :3 Thank you for reading, and please review to let me know what you think~


	2. Chapter 2

Grell had set the book down in its rightful place, sighing softly and sitting on top of one of the coffins. In love with him...How odd. He thought on this a while, never getting a clear understanding. And why did Undertaker think he hated him? Maybe he'd tried to flirt and Grell had mistook it or ignored him. Shaking his head, Grell sighed and waited calmly for him to return. He'd have to see if his words were true.

He'd waited around for several hours, busying himself by examining the jars around him to determine what they were, and reading several of the books he'd put up only an hour before. Around dinner time, Undertaker finally reappeared, bustling into his shop happily and beaming at Grell. "I do hope everything was taken care of while I was out?"

Grell nodded obediently, staring at the mortician for several long moments. Despite moving to check over everything, the Undertaker noticed his unusual staring and even more unusual silence, turning back to the redhead. His eyebrow was quirked in worry and confusion behind his bangs, but all Grell saw was the small 'o' his mouth formed. "Is everything alright, Grell?"

Grell blinked several times, cursing himself for making his change so obvious, but playing it off flawlessly. "Ah, yes, everything's fine~ I'm just tired from that looooong chore you forced on me. And hungry, now that I think of it.." As if on cue, his stomach rumbled loudly, causing Grell to flush pink with embarrassment.

'How adorable.' Undertaker thought to himself, the visible half of his face back to its usual face-splitting grin. "Ah! Yes, of course. I'll go and make us some dinner, then~" He bustled into the back room without another word, peeking his head back out and causing his grin to widen slightly as he caught Grell staring after him. "And thank you for doing that for me."

Grell could only nod his welcome, slipping into the kitchen with the Undertaker after several long moments and sitting at the dining table, stealing peeks at the dish Undertaker was cooking. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it smelled and looked absolutely divine, a pleasant surprise to Grell.

At least the mortician didn't entirely live off cookies, or cook fingers for dinner. No, those were the worst case scenarios and Grell was happy to have them disproved.

Grell watched the Undertaker cook, smiling dreamily to himself as he waited. Yes, he could get used to this, such a calm day with easy work, and then watching such a pleasant man come home and have dinner cooked right up and served to him..'It's the perfect scenario for a husband and wife.'

He hadn't realized his hasty thoughts until several minutes had passed, sitting straight up with a worried, even scared look in his eye as he came to his senses. Undertaker, who had been serving him his dish of food, immediately looked afraid, though it was hidden aside from a frowning face. He hadn't even thought to ask Grell what he liked to eat, how stupid of him. Did he have a food allergy? Was he a vegetarian? Oh dammit, Undertaker, there you've gone and ruined it again...

The elder's thoughts continued to race on negatively like this, until Grell looked up and locked eyes with his bangs, stopping Undertaker's worry dead in his tracks with an honest, soft, absolutely endearing smile. "Thank you. This looks wonderful..~" He said kindly, and Undertaker could feel his heart race instead now, melting entirely with only his face warming as proof.

Undertaker only nodded, moving his face down further to hide his blush, composing himself as he brought his own plate over and sat down to eat. "Thank you. I try to treat my guests the best I possibly can~" He responded with his usual grin, nibbling on his own bite of food. It had been quite a while since he'd cooked something quite this nice, and he was pleased to learn he'd done a good job on it.

He looked up as Grell took a bite without hesitation, his face flushing anew as he heard an utterly tantalizing noise emerging from the redhead's throat. Moaning. Grell was moaning over his food.

'Grell's moaning because of you.' The devil on Undertaker's shoulder whispered, and Undertaker tried to nudge the bugger away and shut him up before he could allow his mind to reach the gutter. He failed quite miserably, coughing into his hand as he once again fought off a furious blush before continuing to eat as he heard Grell calling him.

"This is just wonderfully divine, Undertaker!~" He praised, smiling widely as he ate another forkful. "Who would have expected this~ Mmm~" He let out another soft moan, devouring the meal in only a few minutes. Undertaker had to admit he was taken aback by that; Grell had eaten so quickly, and yet still managed to look so ladylike and polite while doing so. Undertaker himself had finished in roughly the same amount of time, but making much more of a mess, sadly.

However, Undertaker hid his embarrassment and simply let out a content sigh. "Ah, that was nice~ I suppose you'll need to be going now, though. William will want you to report back so he doesn't think you're running off and leaving me." He got up to collect the dishes, smiling to himself, honestly in pure bliss at that very moment.

And it only grew further at Grell's response.

"No need...William already told me all he'll need is a note from you weekly saying I'm doing okay..he trusts you enough not to lie to him~" Grell stretched out, arching his back slightly as a yawn escaped him, not even realizing Undertaker's brief stare or his lick of the lips as he turned to clean the dishes. "..I..I need to talk to you about something anyways."

That had caught Undertaker's attention. Quickly finishing up his washing of the dishes, he walked back over to the reaper with a carefree grin. "Yes, Grell~?"

"I..." Grell looked down again, seeming to be building up the courage to speak. 'That's odd.' Undertaker thought to himself. 'Very odd. He usually has no fear..what could this be about?'

"I found your diary, Undertaker.." Grell started, looking up at the man for a reaction. Meanwhile, Undertaker's heart had sunk to his feet, and his brain was in a frenzy. Shit! Shit! Shit! Grell knew how badly he doted on him! He knew how obsessive he'd been! That would explain him being overly polite, he was just easing Undertaker's mood so that he wouldn't complain to William when Grell rejected him. Not that Undertaker would do such a thing, no, he would never sink so low, even if it would sting him like nothing else could if Grell hated him for this.

"..Alright." Undertaker only barely managed to keep himself appearing calm and steady, but barely was good enough, and he nodded for Grell to continue.

Grell stared down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs nervously, before he looked up at the elder reaper again. "..I..read through..most of it.." He mistook Undertaker's thoughtful look with an angry one, immediately ducking his head again. "I'm sorry..I couldn't help myself, I got curious..And..you'd been writing about me, I had to know.."

Undertaker braced himself to hear it, whatever variation it would come in. 'I'm sorry, but you're really just an old perverted stalker and I'm not at all interested.' stuck out in his mind the most. It was the blatant truth, after all, and Grell was always truthful.

What he wasn't expecting was slender arms wrapping tightly around his neck, a head on his shoulder, and his own arms instinctively wrapping around the smaller reaper. Grell looked up at him again, both shinigami blushing a light shade of pink. "Undertaker.." Grell said again, his voice slightly shaky as emotions crashed over him, causing a concerned look to come his way. "...Undertaker, did I really..Do you really feel that way? You..love me?"

And suddenly, the fears that had wrapped themselves around Undertaker's heart fell away. The worried look on his face changed to a look of pure adoration, his lips curving back into a warm smile that only widened as Grell gave him a small smile of his own.

Grell wasn't annoyed, or pitying him for his feelings. He was making sure they were genuine. Which meant, even though it was a sliver of a chance, Grell might feel the same way for him.

"...I do.." He started, despite himself. "I would have approached you earlier, rather than watching from afar like a stalker.." He couldn't help but crack a grin when Grell giggled softly at this. "But I was afraid. I was terrified you'd reject me. You see..My previous lover..left me rather terrified to engage in another relationship."

Grell raised an eyebrow at him, trying to remember what he read, but unable to as the mortician's arms held him close. "..Why is that, exactly?"

"She died." He sighed softly, nuzzling the redhead's cheek and smiling softly as he gave a small squeak of surprise, his eyes rather concerned. "Don't worry, it's been quite some time and I'm alright to talk about it. Claudia, she was a human..and..despite my trying to keep her out of harm's way, she, as all humans do, died eventually. I still miss her horribly, and I didn't know if I could handle the only other person I've fallen so hard for leaving me.."

He couldn't help but smile as Grell's face flushed a deep red, almost rivaling his hair. He blinked owlishly and looked up at him, smiling widely. "..You...fell for me?"

Undertaker leaned forward, kissing his forehead. "I did. Even if I never actually met you for months after I first saw you.." Grell giggled softly at this, nuzzling the mortician's neck.

"Undertaker?"

"Yes, m'dear?" Undertaker couldn't help a small smirk when he saw Grell blush anew from the fond nickname.

"I...I'm honored to have helped you out of that...and flattered...and..." Grell's voice lowered to a timid, quiet murmur, soft enough that only Undertaker could hear. "I'd be willing to try it if you would."

Undertaker's gentle, loving kiss on his lips was all the confirmation Grell needed.

~~~  
Author's Note: And that's it for now, guys! Sorry it ended up being so horrendously short O.o It is entirely possible I could go back and write a much longer version of this story (either seperately or replacing this one), but for now I have finals coming up and I wanted to get out a finished story for you guys and not leave you hanging. Plus, I think it turned out to be a rather adorable fluffball of a thing. 3

I think that the only thing that I could do for this story fairly soon if you'd want it would be an epilogue, just to help wrap it up a bit better. I'd be more than happy to do something of the sort, though it will probably be very similar to the wrap-up of another little oneshot I'm considering uploading.

Anyways, thanks for reading and supporting me, you guys! It's been a while since I've written fanfiction and I adored writing something this simply and lovey. There'll definitely be more to come, Undertaker/Grell or no, so keep watching out! Bye guys 3 -Funtom


End file.
